Culver Community Church

Pastor Chris Sweeney

Sermon Notes

September 09, 2018

Marriage & Divorce (Part 3) - 1 Corinthians 7

We know that He continued to talk with the disciples away from the crowds and God reveals much more in both the Old and New Testament!  We don’t have to (and should not) make up answers on our own.  We can seek God’s will today, and I want to fill in some of the blank spaces (please realize, we could specialize in this subject and never run out of things to learn and teach).  Many, (even well intentioned) have lost their balance and God’s heart on these issues. 

Some preach such a hard line that those under them feel that any marital troubles must be hidden, no divorce – ever, or else they could be excommunicated from the fellowship or they may be taught that God can never forgive them and they are going to hell.  First, let me reassure you that fighting with your spouse and even divorce are both forgivable!  The only unpardonable sin is the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit (and His work: convicting the World and proclaiming Christ), denying that God has sent Jesus as His one and only Son, the way to God!  This group does not take God’s patience and forgiveness into account.  However, we see it in practice throughout scripture!  In fact, we can say that divorce is only a merciful concession when an adulterous spouse is not put to death! 

· The Old Testament abounds with examples of both men and women who have committed sexual sin and yet God did not strike them down.  Most of the patriarchs and kings were at best monogamists.  David (and Bathsheba) committed adultery and then lied, murdered and committed other sins.  Ruth shamelessly threw herself at a man, (who married her) and let’s not forget the Prophet Hosea who was told by God to marry an adulterous woman, who continued in sin, abandoned him and ultimately became a prostitute and was sold into slavery!  None of these examples followed God’s plan or ideal, but He used them – some are directly in the lineage of Jesus!

· In John chapter four, the story of the Woman at the well is related.  Jesus knows and tells her all about herself (5 husbands and currently living with a man that is not her husband)!  We can’t say definitively if the first five all died of natural causes or if there is some divorce in her story, but there is no way around it, she is living in sin (shacking up).  What does Jesus do?  He does not condemn her or strike her dead – no, He ministers to her and brings the whole village to Himself through her!

· The woman caught in the act of adultery (John 8) is another example!   The religious leaders who cared little about her or her sin (not to mention the man who got away) brought this woman before Jesus to entrap Him.  Jesus surprises them again and draws on the ground (I believe making all the accusers aware of their own sin), and when they slinked away Jesus told her “neither do I condemn you . . . Go now and leave your life of sin."  God desires that we not fall into sin, but when we do He forgives and shows us the way to get out as cleanly as possible (before it worsens, while we can!)

Some, teach the other extreme that God will accept, look the other way or at least forgive any marital/sexual choices we make, even those directly against His ‘ideal’ for marriage and His will.  This is just as damnable as the first!  They forget that God still hates divorce (God does not change) and that He desires that we should be in happy, life-long committed relationships!  They proclaim that God is love and encourage sins that God has declared abominable, even from the pulpit!  Sins like the ones that cause the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19)!  These sins are not just about what we do, sometimes it’s about what we don’t do – Onan, refused to help carry on his dead brother’s line by sleeping with his widow (God’s pre-medical impregnation plan) and was killed by God!  Twenty-four thousand died for committing fornication with Moabite women in the worship of their false god Baal (Numbers 25 & 1 Corinthians 10:8).  Malachi chapter two tells us that God withholds blessings and even curses those who break faith with their marital partners!  Some say, that was the Old Testament (covenant) but God does not change; the New is just as hard on sin, even though God’s mercy on the sinners can be more easily seen!

While our sins can be forgiven (1 John 1:9), for those who confess (say the same as God about the sin), how can we be repentant, seeking God’s forgiveness if we willfully, intentionally and habitually break His heart through holding onto sin?  (see 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 & Galatians 5:19-21)

So what do we do when we’ve already broken the ideal, already gotten into the mess and we want to do what is right before God?  The Jews dealt primarily with divorce because the Law was strict about sexual sins, but in Greek culture, almost anything was permissible (like some segments of our own culture).  Paul addressed many of these questions in his epistles and 1 Corinthians (especially chapter 7) is a great place to start.  Let’s look at the questions they asked based on Paul’s answers -

{1 Corinthians 7:1-7}  As Jesus said, it is good to remain single if for God and the Kingdom (or a eunuch).  However, in this world sexual sin abounds and those who are not gifted with celibacy should marry (once), enjoying the benefits and protecting themselves from temptation by being fulfilled in their marriage!  The principle that sex is permitted only inside marriage is affirmed here.  Not only are sexual relations permitted but it is a duty or debt owed to the spouse!

{vs. 8-9} From general to specific – if you are unmarried (divorced – never married or virgins are listed separately below) or widowed the key to what to do is based upon desire.  If you have physical desires that will lead to lust, then find an acceptable outlet – get married!  If not, then remain as you are and focus on God and the work He has given you in this season of life.  Notice the unmarried may remarry (if passionate) – remarriage is not an unforgivable sin!

{vs. 10-11} If you are married, remain so.  Most commentators believe that some were divorcing after hearing Paul’s preference for staying single.  God does not validate the excuse “I’m breaking my vows for God’s sake”.  If a husband or wife divorces or separates from their spouse (with no cause), they are not free to look for greener pastures!  God does not want us to be lookie-loos who take marriages out for a test drive and then try to trade them in!  Remember, God’s design is one spouse for life, when a marriage ends (without death) healing and restoration is the Godly path to once again enjoy marriage (if possible, with God all things are possible when two spouses submit to Him!).

{vs. 12-15} Being unequally yoked is not cause for divorce.  Those who come to Christ already married or sin by marrying an unbeliever should stay with their spouse, if they are willing.  The unbeliever and any children are blessed by the contact and connection to the believer.  However if they refuse or abandon, then this is fine (really it is out of their control – assuming they have been a godly spouse, winsome in every way).  Notice, that this assumes a household not torn apart by sin “God has called us to live in peace” – God does not call us to continue to suffer (without peace) in the home.

{vs. 16-17} Do not marry in order to change an unbeliever, but if you are there . . . remain, pray and hope!

{vs. 25-38} Those engaged, should not seek to break free.  If you are free, don’t look to be committed (unless passionate) because marriage and family come with considerable concerns and responsibilities.  Paul is saying, with the world the way it is (Christians persecuted, etc.) being ‘care-free’ is good if directed for God’s work.  We skipped over ten verses devoted to this idea – do what is best for the Kingdom.  However, this is not for everyone.  Some need a spouse to learn about love and commitment; having a spouse and children teach volumes about God’s love that many of us could not learn only from scripture!  This group has the most liberty, do what God leads as long as you are not sinning (unequally yoking or other sins like homosexuality etc.)

{vs. 39-40} As we’ve seen marriage ends at the bodies death.  Widows can remarry – in the Lord.  Which must be understood for all of these cases – if you are going to marry, it must be acceptable to the Lord (a believer, one who will be a godly spouse – not a louse!)   This is because God has a plan and purpose for marriage – a plan to bless us.

God’s Purposes for Marriage are:

· Companionship (a helpmate or partner) God says in Genesis “it is not good for the man [or the woman] to be alone” and “a suitable helper was not found” so He made one!  “two are better than one . . .” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

· Procreation The first command to Adam and Eve was "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. . .” (Genesis 1:28b).  We also saw that God desires Godly children from marriages (Malachi 2:15).

· Enjoyment (pleasure) – see Song of Solomon and Proverbs – God is not a prude!  Proverbs 5 tells us to be devoted to the wife of your youth – “may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”

· Prevention (I do not mean abstinence, although some bad marriages lead there) – no prevention from falling into sin (lust) - “it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (I Corinthians 7:9)

· Provision – to set up a home and provide for one’s family.  Ephesians 5 says that the man is to nourish, cherish, provide for, love and be like a savior to his wife.  Likewise, she is to respect and be devoted to him.  Both have responsibilities to provide for a happy family and home!

· Illustration – Finally, and most dramatically, God uses marriage to teach about the love He has for us individually, for Israel and for the Church (the Bride of Christ)!  The image is damaged when we rush into marriage, when we mistreat or sin against our partners and especially, when we break our vows through divorce.