Um, good morning. Sorry, again. I hope everyone's doing well. It's a beautiful morning. Another day we get to know our Lord Jesus. Another day we get to spend with Him. Another day we get to depend on Him, to cling on Him. It's an honor, honestly. And I thank God every morning I wake up, I'll thank you Jesus, that I get to know you today in a deeper way. So today in prayer, I was actually praying about this a couple of weeks ago. And God started talking to me out of Genesis about Jacob. And the phrase that came to me was, come, wrestle with us and win. And I think as you hear that, you kind of know what scripture I'm talking about. But we're going to be talking about Jacob. And when Jacob was wrestling with God, and then he got the blessing. So we're going to jump right into it because I really want to pray today. And I have double the notes that I did last time. So I was praying to the Lord, I'm like, please, can you just either slow down time or speed up my speaking so that everyone gets in and we can go right to prayer. Because last time we only had 10 minutes of prayer and I'm like, not enough. So we're going to read Genesis 32, 24 through 31. We're just going to read over and then we're going to dive in. So at 24, it says, Then Jacob was left alone and a man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. Now when he saw that he did not prevail against him, he touched the socket of his hip. And the socket of Jacob's hip was out of joint as he wrestled with him. And he said, let me go for the day breaks. But he said, I will not let you go unless you bless me. So he said to him, what is your name? And he said, Jacob. And he said, your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have struggled with God and with men and have prevailed. Then Jacob asked, saying, tell me your name, I pray. And he said, why is it that you ask about my name? And he blessed him there. So Jacob called the name of the place, Peniel, if I'm not mistaken. For I have seen God face to face and my life is preserved. Just as he crossed over Peniel, sorry, the sun rose on him and he limped on his hip. So this is actually a very mysterious scripture that a lot of scholars can't decipher, which is interesting because even though it's simply laid out, there's not much detail to it. And so it is filled with a lot of mystery and depth and a lot of scholars, like I said, can't decipher it. And I actually love... I mean one thing I love about the Word of God is it's living and it's breathing and every word and every punctuation has so much layers and depth to it that I feel like I know this and I feel like I still don't understand how much depth every single word of the Word of God has to it. And so I love that we have mystery in the Lord, right? So Jacob is one of the humans that we can actually relate to and we're going to dive into some of his history to give you an understanding of how relatable his life is to us and how much... Now I'm not going to put this on you, but I know for me how much I am like him in the decisions that I've made before. So, let's go... So Jacob, the name of Jacob, actually means a heal follower or a supplanter. Which supplanter, if I'm saying that correctly again, forgive me, supplanter means it takes a place of another through force, strategy, or cunning. Which is interesting and my thought process is is that what it meant before he was named that or was that already placed to his name after all the decisions he made? I don't know, but I just thought that was really interesting. So Jacob was a deceiver from the beginning and he deceived to get what he wants. And one of the things that he wants which you see through is actually a good thing. He just chose the wrong path. He wants the Word of God that God gave to Rebecca about him and about Esau. And he wanted it to be fulfilled. So one of the things I think that really solidified who Jacob was was obviously his upbringing. Now a lot of these issues as adults that we have stem from our childhood. It stems from the way that we grew up, the way that we were treated, the way how our parents were because they are set as an example before us. And so for me, I think looking at this story of Jacob, I think a lot of it happened between a lot of the decisions he decided to make happened because there was a strain between Isaac and Rebecca. And so there were a couple of things that happened in the scripture as we break down like a couple chapters before about Isaac and Rebecca. But as you know, kids receive a lot from their parents. So when they see their parents do one thing at church and one thing at home, that kind of messes with their brain, right? Or if they see their parent lie to them and then later on tell them the truth and not really ask for forgiveness, it messes with their brain. So there are certain things that actually can alternate our brain. And so one of the first things that happened as a strain between Isaac and Rebecca was that they had no children for 20 years. It says that Isaac, when he married Rebecca, he was 40. And then when Jacob and Esau were born, he was 60. Yeah, just wanted to make sure. But anyways, that's 20 years of infertility. And obviously, we all, most of us, can experience and understand, especially as a woman, when you can't bear children, it's hard because we feel like we're destined to do that, right? And so I'm sure it brought a strain between Isaac and Rebecca. And we can already play that out in our minds. He blamed her, she blamed him. There was a lot of condemnation, a lot of hurt. And so Isaac did plead to God for the sake of Rebecca. And God answered his plea and opened up her womb. But it took 20 years to get there. The next thing is the ability they had to lie to each other. And one of the scriptures I take out was when Rebecca was telling Jacob, hey, lie to your father and I'll have the curse on me. Which is a dangerous thing to say. But as a wife, I can't imagine telling my children, hey, just don't tell your dad. Like, he doesn't need to know. It's like, no, I'm already trying to lie and have my children lie to my father. That messes with the brain. It says, okay, there's a division there. The next thing, jealousy. I think there was jealousy within their relationship and the kids saw it. Because though Jacob pleaded with God to open up Rebecca's womb, Rebecca actually inquired of God. That's two ways of approaching God. One is, God, please answer my quest. Please answer my quest. Please answer my quest. And on this side is like, Lord, why is this happening? Like, it's a conversation. I'm inquiring about this. I'm not asking you to do it for me. I'm inquiring of what your thoughts are on the situation. And so Rebecca inquired of God and she actually received a word. And that was early on between Isaac, I mean, sorry, between Jacob and Esau and their destinies. And maybe Isaac didn't want to receive that word. Maybe he was jealous that she got it first and he didn't. Maybe he was jealous over her relationship with the Lord. I don't know. I don't know that. But I know that there was something happening there that caused strife in their marriage. The next thing is they were choosing their children over their spouse. And unfortunately, this is a big issue even now through the ages. It's a big issue. And so, because it says he loved Esau, Jacob loved Esau. But it's interesting because it says he loved Esau in the scripture one second. I'm just going to say it with my own words because it's going to take me a minute and I really want to pray. But it says he loved Esau for what he can do. He made into food for Jacob. So there was a sense of like, well, I love you because you do this for me. You make me game. You make me food. But then it says, and Rebecca loved Jacob. And that was it. So it's interesting that they chose children. And so we can understand why Jacob loved Esau, you know, and er, sorry, why Isaac loved Esau. And for Rebecca loving Jacob, it doesn't give us much context. But I can also understand that maybe she knew the destiny on Jacob that he was supposed to be the first, right? He was supposed to inherit that promise. Maybe it was seeing that Isaac was ignoring Jacob. And as a mother, you want to fulfill that love. You see when someone is hurting, you want to give that love. Or it could be there was tension in the marriage and she just wanted to spite Isaac. It happens to us women, like it does. And so maybe she was personally doing that just to her Isaac, her husband. But it caused, and I think with the result of all this tension, I think it caused Rebecca to share God's promise to Jacob in a very personal, ambitious way. Of like, hey, God chose you. You are the chosen one. She kind of poured into him a little bit more. And maybe with all of these issues building up, it would have caused him to solidify him into the decisions that he made. And maybe with Rebecca being in the place that she was at, she couldn't see the faithfulness of God, really, of how this is going to work out and maybe causing it to take it into my own hands. Because later on, she said, lie to Isaac, Jacob. The curse will be on me. I will prepare for the food. She was the one that mentioned it to do it to Jacob, to lie to his father. So there is something in her where she's like, well, we have to fulfill this promise. Like, for some reason, I don't know how it's going to play out, but I will make it work. Like, we are going to make this work. So there was tension between the brothers. And I think this might have fueled Jacob to make his deceptive decisions, right? So with all this mess, Jacob decided to take the word of God, or this destiny, into his own hands by deceiving. He was deceived, you saw, with a birthright. He didn't really care for his brother. He only wanted to secure his destiny. So he said, hey, I'll give you food if you give me your birthright, right? That sounds very selfish to me. I don't care about your well-being. I want to feed you, you know, but give me something in return. So he didn't rely on God there. The father's blessing. He lies to Isaac about who he is in order to secure the blessing or the destiny by his mother's order. So they both didn't trust God in fulfilling his word, and they did it on their own will. And he did what was best for him when he was with Laban, his father-in-law. There was a time where he said, okay, I want to establish my own household. And so he ended up kind of cheating Laban out in creating a system. He created a system that gives Laban the febler sheep while giving him the stronger sheep. So he cheated him out there, and then also fleeing Laban. He was going to leave, and he didn't tell his father-in-law that he was going to leave. Now, Laban is a whole different story. Sometimes we can justify and be like, oh, well, Laban also didn't make the wisest decision. He was also kind of cheating Jacob out. But that doesn't matter, right? If somebody's cheating us out, that doesn't mean we have the right to cheat them back, right? And so anyway, so now we're focusing on Jacob. So he did that. So Jacob knows that the Lord is with him by the blessings that follow. He has wives, his children, the great possessions. Laban's possessions while he's working for him increase exponentially. And even when they decide to leave, the Lord actually showed up to Jacob in multiple facets. But yet he still chose to fulfill this will that God gave him by his own hands instead of trusting the Lord. So now we are leading up to the wrestle. And Jacob is faced with his past trauma and his choices. So he now needs to encounter his brother that he wronged and he has to find reconciliation. And it's interesting because that happens after he comes to a place and he calls it, this is God's camp. And I think something at that place, the presence of God touched him where he's like, I know I'm going to my own country, my homeland, but man, I gotta reconcile with my brother. There's something there that caused him to do that. So he has to face himself with who he is. He is a deceiver and a proud man which results in a messy journey. So God is leading Jacob in a journey where he needs to correct him so that Jacob can actually fulfill this promise that was given to him to fulfill. So he sends a message to Esau and the messenger tells Jacob that his brother is coming with 400 people and that freaks Jacob out a little bit and he tries to deal with it again in his own power. So since he is the promise, he feels that he's doing the righteous thing. This is a promise that was given me. I need to fulfill it. And how many times have we done that in our lives? The Lord promised me this promise. I'm gonna do whatever I can to make sure that it happens. Now there are steps of faith that we do have to take in order to fulfill but that doesn't mean I get to do it in the way that I want it fulfilled, right? And so he is trying to do another strategy to deceive Esau by distracting him with the groups of people that he has. So he takes everything he has, he divides it in two. He's like, this is the gifts. I'm gonna try to douse him with as much gifts as I can distract him with all these gifts so that when my family comes and my children comes, he'll be like, oh, well, he got me so many gifts. I won't be as mad or whatever. But it's interesting how he does that because, again, he's putting himself first. He's thinking about himself. He puts the gifts, his wife and children and then himself. He's putting his wife and kids in front of him to walk out to an angry brother that's wanting to kill him. Like, as a wife, I'd be very upset. So anyways, so he prays to God and there's actually something that does happen here in his prayer to God that kind of shows a little bit of a shift of character because now in his prayer, it's a prayer of vulnerability and transparency to God. And you can see in this prayer, he starts to cling to the Lord a little bit because he understands he can't do this. He's already made a huge mess of things. He's been lying after lie after lie. And now he has to face his brother and he's like, he's going to kill me. Like, I just know it. And so it's interesting, his prayer, he said, one second. Oh, God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, the Lord who said to me, return to your country, to your family and I will deal well with you. I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth which you have shown your servant. For I crossed over this Jordan with my staff and now I have become two companies. Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him lest he come and attack me and the mother with the children. For you said I will surely treat you well and make your descendants as the sand of the sea which cannot be numbered for a multitude. So he's bringing God's promise back to him and he's saying, I can't do this. You are the one who said this and he brings it back and it shows vulnerability and transparency of what's happening. So, now after that he sends everyone out and now he's alone. And this is where the wrestle happens and this is where a lot of scholars are very mystified by this event. And so it's interesting because he sends everyone out and it says in the scripture that he was left alone. And it's interesting because have you ever been left alone? You feel you're very self-aware. Let's just put it that way. You feel who you are because there's no one to bounce yourself back from. And when you are left alone we have a full realization of who we are and we have a full realization of what we've done and it really opens our eyes. So if you notice we as humans don't like to always be alone and if we are alone especially nowadays it's easy just to distract ourselves with a movie or with our phone or something. We don't want to be alone. Our flesh doesn't want us to be alone because it has an understanding that when we are alone we're going to understand what we are to the Lord and what we have done. So it wants to distract us from that. So not only is he alone he is in the dark of night physically and I think also spiritually mentally too and emotionally. He is in the dark of night. It's night, everyone's there. He's in this wilderness all alone. He's also all alone in his thoughts. He has all of this pressure of my brother's going to kill me. Like all of these dark doubts and thoughts sounds very familiar, huh? And he's in a dark place. And also while he wrestles it's a long period of time. Has anyone tried staying up all night? It's long. Especially if you don't have any entertainment it is long, right? And you see your spouse or your children or someone next to you sleeping or someone in the other room sleeping. It's long. And so as we are going into the wrestling we're going to go into the word now. It says then Jacob was left alone and a man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. It's interesting about this wrestling because their scholars have multiple different theories. Some say that it was a spiritual battle. Like it wasn't physical or spiritual. Some say it was actually a dream that happened to him. Some say that he was actually praying earnestly. Like it wasn't a physical battle he was just praying earnestly. But the consensus to most of it because it's so simply laid out it's not very detailed, it's simply laid out. A lot of people tend to go that it was a physical actual wrestle because of his hip. His hip, the socket was out of joint. And so that's why they believe it was physical. So the other interesting thing it wasn't Jacob started wrestling with a man. It said that the man started wrestling with Jacob. And so when it talks to the man it says that scholars believe that this man some scholars believe it was a messenger like an angel of God coming on behalf of the Lord. Most scholars believe that it was actually the pre-incarnate Jesus in his state in his pre-incarnate state that he came down. And so Jesus that's what we're gonna go with Jesus came and he started this wrestle with Jacob which I found really intriguing and we'll understand that a little bit later on. And so as it goes on he wrestled with him until the breaking of day so that's all night. Now when he saw that he did not prevail now this is Jesus I'm gonna substitute the name for he for Jesus. Now when Jesus saw that Jesus did not prevail against him now I'm gonna stop there and a lot of scholars were also like that's weird how can a human prevail over God but when we kind of break down that word prevail means in a way not winning it's more of not it's more of persevering and not letting go so he was prevailing as in he was not giving up he was wrestling this man and he was gonna win like that was his intention and so it says he did not prevail against him so Jesus touched the socket of his hip So this shows me one thing too. Jesus was in control of this wrestle because he wasn't beating that socket out of joint. He simply touched it. So even though they are wrestling it, Jesus is in it with Jacob. He is going the same as Jacob is going this measure. Jesus is matching his measure with this. Jacob is sweating. Jesus is sweating. He is in it with him. He is wrestling with Jacob. He is feeling the same things that Jacob is feeling with. But he just has to touch his hip in order to get it out of joint. He doesn't have to beat him to it. So for me, this already shows that this wrestle was on Jesus' side. He had this in his control. So Jesus, so after all of this, now the conversation happens, right? So now they were physical with each other, the wrestling each other. Now a conversation happens. And he said, let me go. Jesus, this is Jesus. He says, let me go for the day breaks. And I think Jesus said this, not for saying, hey, this is the obvious. The day is coming. Let's end this wrestle. I think he is saying it to pull something out of Jacob, to have Jacob understand the situation, to have Jacob have a realization of what's happening. And with having the day break, he wanted to show Jacob that this wrestle was for a purpose and to show his ambition of his heart. So then Jacob says, no, bless me. I'm saying this in my own words. But that's pretty much he says, I will not let you go unless you bless me. And as reading it just normally, I'm like, yeah, that's right. This guy started a fight with me and now he's telling me to let him go. No, bless me. Let's break this off even. You tell me you did wrong and then we'll break this off. That's the way that I see it. But I also see it's a side of pride on Jacob. He said, no, you got to bless me. You are the one that started this. You are the one that has to bless me now. I didn't start this wrestling with you. You started it with me. And so Jesus said to him, and it's interesting. He says, what is your name? And I find that so interesting because... I missed something. We'll go back there. I find that interesting because Jacob means, like I said, he'll follow her. And it means that he's a sub-planter, right? And that means that he does anything he can cutting, sorry, strategizing in order to get his way, in order to force his way into another. So he's trying to force his way into this promise of God. And so Jesus is saying to Jacob to reveal to himself who Jacob is. So now he's saying, what's your name? And now Jacob is standing in a place where he has to realize who he is. I am a deceiver. And he tells him that. He says, I am Jacob. And so Jacob is now faced with who he is. His identity that he created by the choices of his flesh to manifest the word of God that was spoken over him. And it reminds me of the woman at the well where Jesus tells her, hey, go tell your husband, bring me your husband. It's like, smacks them with the truth. And it's like, yeah, that's who I am, right? So Jacob responds with his name. Now it's a little interesting, a little bit before that, and talk about this where I feel like this connects a lot of this together. I was looking up when it says, I will not let you go until you bless me. And I looked up, bless, what it means. Now there's different from the Hebrew and the Greek. But in the Hebrew, the word they actually use is power. And it says, power means to kneel by executing or implementing, to bless God by adoring him, and to bless man by benefiting the man. So that's what that meant. And I just find it so interesting because when you kneel before someone, you're not saying, oh, I have dominance over you. What are you doing? You're being lowly. You're submitting under them. You're allowing yourself to go low, and they have full authority to even hurt you because you're not protecting yourself. So I just find that so interesting that the word bless in my own interpretation of that is to kneel, in other words, to be lowly. So as we continue going on, so this blessing, he says, your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have struggled with God and with men and have prevailed. So no longer is he Jacob now, the heel follower, the one that follows people. He's no longer Jacob the deceiver that's influenced by his flesh. He is now Israel. So he no longer has this old nature about him. He no longer has the trauma of family. He no longer has the trauma of sin in his life. Or the sins that follow and plague every decision that he has made. He now has a new identity, Israel. He has a new character, a new creation to step into and walk out. Why? Because you persevered. He says, you struggled. You struggled and prevailed. You struggled with God and you struggled with people and you prevailed. Now, maybe the road that he took was the right of deceiving people. He just made it harder on himself, but he wanted to fulfill the word of God. And so now, Jacob realizes that this answer is not just any person answer. Nobody can change my name except the Lord. And so he realizes that, and he's like, that's why he asks this man, Jesus, his name. He says, what's your name? And Jesus replies. He says, why is it that you ask about my name? It doesn't matter. You already know who I am. So he crossed over. Oh, sorry. So now we see the importance of this encounter for Jacob because he has revelations on it. He sees God's face to face and his life is preserved. And Jesus, that was in his heart and he let him live. And that's what it says in Hosea 12, 3-4. Not gonna go in there. So anyway, so he crossed over. He was in a new creation, a new identity. It says, the sun rose up. It says, just as he crossed over, the sun rose on him and he limped with his hip. So he crossed over as a new creation, a new identity. And the sun rose on him. It was a new day, a new journey, a new light dawned, a new revelation of Jesus. And he limped on his hip. It's a reminder of his encounter with the Lord to cling to Jesus now instead of himself. A sign of submission, humbleness, loneliness, broken, emptied of himself. And it started the process of loneliness in him. Jesus was creating a dead company in him so that he fully realized on him. Now, a little bit later, his nature does pop up again. Because when his sons go back to Egypt to get more food, he says, Oh, don't, you know, why did you tell them you should have lied about me having Benjamin, my youngest son? But then you can see by his response later on, he realizes probably because of his limp that he says, Hey, get all these gifts, pay back everything that we have to pay him for the other food and now for this food. Give him more gifts and then let God deal with the rest. He's learned his lesson. So I'm not saying everything's going to be perfect after we reach this loneliness, this humbleness. But so we are understanding sometimes our flesh wants to come back up. But we're like, Nope, I feel the slimp. I'm not going back down that road again. Right? So the life changing encounter after Jacob meets Esau is different. And you see it in his response when he meets Esau. Because no, it's no longer deception, trickery, strategy. It's just simply coming before his brother and reconcile. Apologizing, asking for forgiveness. And of course, we know the answer to that. Everything goes goes well. Esau forgives him. So all that ties into the reason why I wanted all of that said and all of that history being out. Because I want us, we all can pertain to Jacob. I know I can. I can't speak for you. I know I can. There's many choices in my life that are parallel to Jacob's. But my thing is I want God, I want you to come and wrestle me in one. I want you to give me that limp. And that doesn't mean a physical limp, you know. Whatever limp he wants to give me, whatever marking he does in my life, whether it's a physical, an emotional, a mentally spiritual. I'm asking the Lord for that because I understand the power and the gravity of who he is and what he wants to fulfill. There's a destiny on each one of us that we need to fulfill, but we can't get there on our own. We can't get there on our own at all. We have to be so emptied of ourselves and so filled with Jesus to even walk out his will. It's his promise. It's his vision. It's not ours. And if we do it on our own accord, we're going to be just like Jacob, just messy with our journey. And see, this is the thing. The Lord will accomplish his will, whether it is with un... What's the word? Sorry, I want to get this right. Oh yeah, there we go. The Lord wants to accomplish his will, whether the tools were cooperative or uncooperative. It still will be fulfilled. And I'm praying, Lord, make me a cooperative tool so that I don't make things harder and messier for you. I don't want to shame your name. And I want to make this easier for you so that I don't hurt your heart with my decisions. Because either way, this will be done. And I'm just asking for being a cooperative tool instead of an uncooperative tool. So I'm asking God to wrestle with us. I want him to come and pick a fight with us of things in our lives. I want him to pick a fight with our flesh, to fall into true submission, to be bridled. And we all know what bridled means when you bridle a horse. And this has no correlation to a bride, but it sounds very similar to a bride. But as a bride, when she gets married, her identity is gone. When I got married to Igor, my identity, Tanya Kravitz, who is my father's name, it's gone. It's erased. I'm no longer that person. You cannot find me anywhere with that name. I am now Tanya Kendritchuk. I take the identity of my husband, and now on my face of my husband. And that's the same thing with bridled. Bridal is being led, going left and right. The person who is behind me is controlling me where I'm going and I'm following their whim. I trust them. I'm not just going to run around and do my own thing. I trust them enough that they've bridled me. I'm asking the Lord that He wrestles with us the promises that were given to us by Him, but that they are not ours to fulfill, but His, because it's from Him. I'm asking God to wrestle with us and win over past traumas, that they don't influence our decisions or our direction. I'm asking God to wrestle with us and win over history of who we once were and what once defined us, even if it was yesterday. I'm asking God to wrestle with us and win over situations, obstacles, circumstances, whether they were spiritual, relational, or physical, that can only be done by or with Him, by and with Him, not by our own desires or our own outcomes. Sometimes we're placed in a situation and we think it's demonic. Oh well, this person is going against me and they're making this all things and maybe it could be right. Maybe this person is making not wise decisions, but there's a reason why you're placed there. Sometimes you need to learn the lesson. It's not about that other person. Sometimes it's about you. You need to learn that lesson. You need to learn how to go low, how to love them even though they're going against you, how to love them even though they're hurting your children. That's a hard thing to do. Talk about martyrdom. And at least with physical martyrdom, we're up with Jesus instantly. But a mental and emotional martyrdom, that's living and death every day. That's painful. Our flesh does not want to do that. But that's lowliness. I'm asking God to wrestle with us. To mark, wrestle with us and when to leave a mark in our lives to remind us of that wrestle. To remind us of our submission when our old nature wants to creep in. And second Corinthians, it says this, So I am well pleased with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses in my life, with persecutions, and with difficulties for the sake of Christ for when I am weak and human strength, then I am strong, truly able, truly powerful, truly drawing from God's strength. That's what I want that hip socket to be out of place. So let's go into prayer. We only have about eight minutes. Maybe you go a little bit longer. Let's get into prayer. Asking God to come and wrestle with us. Pick a fight with us. Over things in our lives that we don't want to give up. Over things in our lives, I know the Spirit is probably ministering to you, bringing up certain situations that you don't want to deal with, that you rather just place in a box underneath the rug. And he says, no, come up and come out. He says, come up and come out. I need to deal with that. If you want to follow this destiny that I have placed you in, you have to be emptied of yourself. All these little dust bunnies underneath your rug, he's like, we need to sweep them out. So let's ask the Lord to come and wrestle with us.